Professional live-in nannies know that hearing her employers argue is inevitable. Most take it with a grain of salt, but there are times when it can create tension; most notably, when the fights are about her. Here are nine of the most awkward arguments your nanny can overhear.
- Disagreements Over Her Salary – If one parent feels that the nanny’s salary is fair while the other thinks she’s being paid too much, being forced to hear the debate can cause your nanny to lose confidence and feel that her job isn’t secure. This can lead to her decision to seek other employment, which would create the need to begin the hiring process all over again.
- Accusations of Infidelity – A young, single nanny can cause a mom to feel threatened, leading to accusations of an extramarital affair. When these accusations are baseless, it can be heartbreaking for your nanny to learn that one of her employers things so poorly of her.
- Disapproval of Her Methods – Disagreements over child-rearing methods are common between two parents; when a third person is introduced with her own ideas, tense conversations regarding her abilities can spring up.
- Jealousy Regarding the Children – Because many children spend the bulk of their day with a nanny, they can naturally become attached to her. It certainly doesn’t mean that they love the nanny more than their parents, but this situation is the starting point for many uncomfortable arguments.
- Dependence on Her Services – When a parent feels that the family is too dependent upon the nanny’s services, feelings of inadequacy can cause them to lash out at the other parent. The result is a painful fight that leaves everyone feeling hurt.
- Her Off-Duty Lifestyle Choices – Even during her off-duty hours, a nanny’s behavior still affects her charges and the perceptions of her employers. When one parent feels that her lifestyle is questionable, it can cause awkwardness.
- Inappropriate Comments or Behavior – Inappropriate comments, even made jokingly, can be the single greatest source of arguments between parents that have a live-in nanny. The intimacy of having someone living in your home and caring for your children may be difficult to deal with under the best possible circumstances; if one parent seems to be flirting, it can quickly spiral out of control.
- She Doesn’t Meet Expectations – Hesitance to go through the difficult process of hiring a new nanny can cause one parent to let her shortcomings slide, while the other parent disagrees wholeheartedly. Hearing her employers fighting about her ability to perform as a nanny can be painful and embarrassing.
- Stress-Related Anger – Often, parents that are over-worked or under too much stress will pin their problems on the nanny unfairly. In addition to being humiliating for her, this can also create such a hostile environment that she seeks another post altogether.
Even if you feel that your arguments are justified, you should still remember that your nanny’s feelings are as sensitive as your own. When a fight can’t be avoided, try to do so when she’s out of earshot or has left the house entirely; simply overhearing your argument can be hurtful enough that she no longer feels comfortable working in your home.
