Spelling out inappropriate concepts or secrets in front of the little ones is a time-honored tradition amongst adults. There comes a time, however, when these methods aren’t as effective as they once were. Here are nine clues that your kids are outgrowing your coded communication.
- They Start Answering Spelled-Out Questions – If the little ones start answering questions you’ve spelled out, it’s a good idea to abandon this method in order to prevent them from picking up on themes and concepts beyond their age level.
- They Ask Questions About Spelled-Out Ideas – When a child asks you, “Why did you spell that?” it’s a sign that they’re becoming more aware of what you’re saying. Even when they don’t quite know how to spell, they’ve learned that you’re trying to hide something from them.
- They Begin to Sound Out Letters – One of the first things a child is taught to do when they’re learning to read is to spell out letters. Kids who are determined to figure out what you’re trying to say can often break down what you’re saying and sound it out, leading to them saying the word you were trying to hide from them.
- They Scold You For Using Bad Language – They may not know which particular word you’ve chosen to spell, but kids are quick to connect this behavior with sharing a secret or using inappropriate language. When they begin to scold you, they’re too old to spell in front of.
- They’re Spelling Out Their Own Phrases – Sometimes children begin to use strings of letters to symbolize an idea or word that they know they’re not supposed to be familiar with. Though the letters they choose may spell gibberish, this is still a sign that they’ve connected this behavior with something “bad.”
- They’re Learning to Read – Once a habit is established, it can be difficult to break. Though you may consciously realize that your youngster is starting to read, this fact can slip your mind during the act of using spelling aloud as a code. When you start teaching the alphabet and working with phonetics, you should stop discussing secret or improper concepts in front of them by relying on their inability to decode your statements.
- They Act on Things They Pick Up – At a certain age, children are able to fill in enough blanks to get a general idea of what you’re saying. If they start acting on your conversations or commenting on them, that’s a sure sign that they’re getting too old for hiding a secret with spelling.
- They Repeat Your Statements – Having your child repeat the very thing you were trying to conceal can be both embarrassing and problematic, especially if the concept is one that he shouldn’t be exposed to. Though this is a rather obvious sign that they’ve outgrown your system, it’s also an undeniable one.
- They Mimic You – If your child is old enough to parrot you, even when they don’t know what a word means, it’s a good idea to start training yourself to break the habit of spelling out things you don’t want them to understand.
Children are more aware of their surroundings than most adults realize, so it’s a good idea to pay attention to your speech patterns. Also, instead of relying on ways to hide a conversation in their presence, make a habit of excusing yourself for things that can’t be put off until they’re out of the room. By limiting their exposure to this kind of concealment, you can avoid the embarrassing realization that they know exactly what you’re talking about.
