Posted on January 22, 2012 by admin | in Nanny
It seems today that many kids have a bad attitude about things and toward others. Arrogance among young people seems like it is on the rise, and for many of us parents it may be our fault. When the kids were little and said smart aleck things perhaps we let it pass and thought it was funny or amusing. What was cute witty sarcasm then now gets under our skin and causes us to cringe in public when our child comes off as a know-it-all or snob. A nice slice of humble pie is now in order. But what can a parent do to convince their kid to take a bite? Here are some ideas.
- Talk about the importance of humility. Sometimes kids don’t understand what humility really is. Unfortunately people often see humility as a weakness when in reality it is a strength. Some of the greatest people in the world are those who have tasted their share of humble pie.
- Reality check. Being really good at something can breed arrogance if not kept in check with doses of humility. If you see your child lording their skill over others and displaying a superior attitude it’s time to step in a do a reality check. Just as there is always someone worse off than you there is also someone more proficient. Help your child keep things in perspective and teach them to be wiling to share their talents for the benefit of others rather than boast about them to their detriment.
- Nip arrogant behavior in the bud. Having a piece of humble pie early in life can set a child off in the right direction. Children don’t realize how their actions affect others. If your child says or does something that puts others down use that opportunity to teach them about humility. Have the child apologize and talk with your child about the incident and let them know why their words or actions were hurtful to the other person.
- Provide perspective. Growing up in affluence can cause kids to think higher of themselves then they ought to. One father whose school aged children were blessed to have more than enough of everything would occasionally take his kids on a field trip to skid row so they could see how other children lived. He spoke to them about privilege and responsibility to those who were not as fortunate as they were. The lesson stuck and as adults these children have carried on by volunteering with their own children to help the needy.
- Take advantage of teachable moments. If your child is on the receiving end of someone else’s arrogance use that to your advantage. Explore with your child the feelings of hurt and shame and let them know that when they are on the giving end of such behavior the other person feels the same way.
- Share the piece of pie. As parents we have to take our share of responsibility for how our kids turn out. Sometimes our pride in junior’s abilities can turn sour once we realize we’ve created a monster. If this happens sit down and have a talk with your child and eat a little humble pie together. It’s okay to be proud of one’s abilities however, being a show off or braggart is not okay.
- Experience is a great teacher. With some children a little taste of their own medicine is the only way to get through. When your child is being insensitive to others, then maybe they need to experience a little insensitivity themselves; not so much as to cause damage but enough to get the point across. Let your child know that insensitivity is hurtful to others.
- Discuss the costs of arrogance with your child. Your child may not realize that a bad attitude will not serve them well. Peers, teachers, coaches, other parents do not appreciate nasty attitudes and may take steps to put your child in place. If not dealt with, your child could end up with a sorry social life.
- Leadership training. Help your child to understand that they can be humble because they have something to be humble about. Let them know that because they have it good – whether it’s brains, talent, looks, ability, whatever – they have a reason to be humble. Yes, they could brag and be snotty or snobby about their good fortune but the higher road is to be humble, help others get there and realize that their good fortune can be an encouragement to others rather than a pain.
- Check your own attitude. When the situation called for it, did you eat a little humble pie yourself? What are you modeling for your children? People like former NFL coach Tony Dungy have shown that you don’t have to be a bulldozer with attitude to make something of yourself. You can be a humble person and gain the respect and admiration of others as you rise to the top.
Teaching our children about humility is important. Teaching them to be willing to step up and apologize, act with integrity and be gracious will serve them well and make their part of the a little better. Eating humble pie can be a bitter experience, but at the same time the nourishment it can provide can help produce a person of great character.
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