Nanny Suspected Abuse


What steps can I take to avoid a nanny who might abuse or neglect my child?

Every parent should take the following steps prior to hiring a nanny.

  1. Hire a professional company to conduct a criminal history, DMV and social security verification check.
  2. Do not rely solely on the criminal history check, conduct at least 3 reference checks and be sure to ask these references a lot of questions. Click here for sample questions
  3. If you want a real nanny, look for one. Baby nurses are not nurses. ”Just because someone says they are a nanny, it does not mean they are. Because there are no legal standards for nannies in the United States, parents should be sure that the person they hire to care for their child has a working knowledge of child development, age appropriate behavior, childhood illness and First Aid. In addition they should be CPR Certified, and willing to give you references that don’t have unexplainable gaps.” Glenda Propst, National Association of Nannies.
  4. Spend time with your new nanny before you head back to work. Listen to how she relates to your children and other members of the family.
  5. Spot check. Drop home unannounced. Ask Grandma, hubby or your best friend to stop by and check in.
  6. If you notice that your nanny’s mood has changed toward her job, you or your children and she no longer seems happy in her work. If she rushes out the door at the end of the day instead of giving you some feedback on the day’s events, it may be time to let her go. You do not want a disgruntled nanny taking care of your children.
  7. Be a caring employer. Nanny’s hours are long, isolating and at times stressful. Be cognizant of this and give nanny the appreciation and down time she needs to feel good about her job.
  8. Ask Nanny to keep a daily log book. A caring nanny will make sure it is full of what went on during the day, what the kids ate, if there were any new boo boos, where they went, etc. This is just another way to keep tabs on nanny and to review her professionalism.
  9. A good nanny will be all about kids, their safety and enrichment. It’s not enough for a candidate to say “I love kids.” Of course they’re going to say this. What in their past, either in work or recreation, shows that they truly love kids.
  10. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee ever that the person you hire will be 100% trustworthy. Only time will prove this to you. There will hopefully come a day when you will be able to say with confidence, “you know, I think nanny would throw herself in front of a bus to protect my child.”

What if I suspect abuse ?

Let her go. Many times parents have to go on their gut instincts when it comes to suspected abuse by a Nanny. Unfortunately, you may have to act on your instincts without ever being sure. If a nanny makes you uneasy, get rid of her. It is that simple. If you notice bruises in abnormal places like the back, neck or upper arm ask your Nanny where they came from. If her answer seems strained or implausible you may have a problem. Ask your pediatrician if the bruises on your child look suspect. Some other behaviors your child may exhibit if abuse is taking place is sudden bed wetting, withdrawal and a new fear of people. Extreme moods swings are also a clue. For more information on warning signs see below.

Should I use a Nannycam?

If you are starting out with a new nanny and you are just too nervous to leave your child alone with a stranger then maybe a hidden camera would help. But unless you can have a camera in every room in the house, do not use this as a substitute for drop by visits and close inspection of your children. There are companies that rent hidden camera’s for a number of days and they will do all the installation for you. Many Nannies have come to expect nannycams as part of the job and are okay with it as long as you let them know ahead of time. This is something that should definitely be discussed in the interview. If you know you want the option to use a nannycam during your nanny’s employment and she indicates that she is strictly opposed to their use, then you should continue your search for another nanny. Trust is a very important component in the nanny/employer relationship. Be upfront from the start and you will hopefully avoid hurt feelings down the road.

On the other hand, if you truly suspect your Nanny is physically abusing your child, do not put your child in harm’s way for one more minute. Do not subject your child to verbal or physical abuse just so you can “catch” the nanny on film.

Just be aware, approximately 50 to 75% of Nannies that are viewed by video surveillance are terminated. Now, one explanation for this high percentage is that the nannies who are “spied” on are already suspect to begin with. Most of the time, the experts tell us, what is witnessed is not “abuse” but basically “benign neglect.” Nannies are watching TV., doing crossword puzzles, or talking on the phone when they should be engaging the child in stimulating activities. This type of behavior you may be able to correct by requiring a daily log of activities and by laying down some laws, No TV watching while baby is awake and no constant phone gabbing during the work day. Spot check by calling the house and listening to hear the TV or have neighbor or grandparent stop by unannounced every once in a while to help check on things.

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